Saturday, September 15, 2012

Mom of Two Worries...

I think when a mother is preparing for the transition of going from one to two children, there are always a lot of concerns and worries she has. How will I handle two children? How will my first be with the baby? Will I ever eat a hot meal or use the bathroom in peace ever again? (HA!) But when your first child has special needs, there are a whole different set of worries to, well, WORRY about. I was laying in bed last night thinking about this. Wondering how a (Lord willing) typical Archer will understand his sister as he gets older. Wondering if he will understand why she isn't punished in the same way as he is, will he understand why she is "allowed" to do things he isn't. Why concessions are made for her and not him.

And I realized that he may think (at least some of the time) that having Angelman Syndrome is kind of a cool deal. After all, Ava will get things for therapy that look like toys, get to go horseback riding (for therapy), have special days at the pool and with adult playmates (therapists) that he doesn't get. And I kind of love that thought. Because I want him to understand that his sister is different, yes. But that it isn't a shameful or embarrassing thing. And that she is no less loved and adored by his mommy and daddy than he is. And no more, either. Which is the other side of that coin. How do we make him feel special and loved and adored when so much of our time is spent doing for and working with and going for Ava. How will he understand that we would do the same things for him, should the roles be reversed?

I love that Ava is going to have a brother that will love her and rough house with her and, when the time comes, hopefully protect and look out for her. And I love that Archer has a big sister that is so outgoing and loving and happy and will love him and be his forever best friend. It will certainly be an interesting dynamic to watch, and I can't wait to see how they are with each other, especially after Archer gets old enough to really play and interact with Ava.

I don't have all- or really any- of the answers to these questions and worries. But I know that the Lord does. I know that He has made Archer the perfect son and brother, the perfect fit for our family. And I know that, day by day, I will learn to be a mom to both of my babies, and give them both the love and attention that they need. I think Archer will bring a balance that our family has been lacking really since Ava was born, but especially since we started our never ending journey of therapy and doctor appointments and tests. And I am looking forward to that!

Only 14 (or less) weeks until we get to meet our sweet baby boy! So excited! And a bit nervous! HAHA!